WherethehellisWilmingtonDelaware

I live in the second smallest state in the nation. It is called, "The First State" because it was the first of the original thirteen colonial states to ratify the constitution. It is located among the celebrated "Mid-Atlantic" states and we native denizens of this area are proud of our lack of any kind of speech accent. However, when speaking to someone whom we think has an accent of some kind, we tend to be asked what kind of accent we are speaking with. I usually say, "TV news."

Another of our claims to fame is our anonymity in relation to a large portion of the American population. Years ago, when my brother re-located to Houston, Texas, when asked where he was from, the usual response to his answer was, "Where the hell is Wilmington, Delaware?" As a joke, I sent him a custom T-shirt with, "WherethehellisWilmingtonDelaware?" emblazoned on the front, and on the back a national map with the approximate location of Delaware marked by a large star. Nobody got it.

Many of us native Delawarians joke about our state and put it down in many ways. Other than Rhode Island, it's the only state where one can drive the entire length of the state in less than two hours, and, for those of us in New Castle county, the upper third of the state, it takes about thirty minutes to drive from the western border to the eastern border; and vice versa. And even in the widest part of the state, southern Sussex County, or "slower, lower, Delaware," it still takes less than two hours to go from one side to the other. In short; we who live here can be somewhere else in less than two hours no matter where we live.

We also have the distinction of living in the only state that has no national park. We have over a dozen state parks, but no national park. If one of our state parks was to be named as a national park, my vote would be for Fort Delaware State Park. In its day, it was an infamous Civil War prison. Thus its relation to national history. I've been there several times and it is quite impressive. Not only is it in fairly good repair, but it is also stocked with dozens of volunteers in period costume. They also talk and act like they are really living in Civil War times, and they interact with visitors like they are talking to others living in those days. They very convincingly demonstrate how life was back then and will not go out of character unless you ask one to, "take off his or her hat." This is a code word to come out of the past and return to the present so they can answer questions in a more modern context. If you have never been there and are given the chance to visit, I highly recommend that you do. It is well worth it.

But, getting back to the states shortcomings, (pun intended) the weather here abouts leaves much to be desired. High humidity and rainy in the Summer, and bitter cold with more slush than snow or rain in the Winter. Traffic too, is a major beef, particularly in northern New Castle County, and especially during the warmer months. There are too many vehicles and not enough roadways to handle them all. I know we don't have the market cornered in this respect, but for such a small state, it gets beyond ridiculous at times. Where I live, just southwest of the city of Wilmington, there are times when it can take me over an hour just to go five or ten miles. Some times it takes me fifteen to twenty minutes just to get out of my street and I live in the suburbs.

However, when I watch the national, and even international, news, I have to re-think my priorities. What does not happen in Delaware?

Direct Hurricane hits are very few and far between.
Tornado events are just as rare.
Incapacitating snow falls are equally rare; maybe once or twice in ten years or so.
Flooding does happen, but compared to the flood damage just caused by Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf states, the worst we suffer is an over excited, heavy dew.
No earthquakes to speak of.
No tsunami's.
No volcanoes.
No plagues of frogs. (Although, Canada Geese droppings can get annoying.)
No killer bees.
No disease epidemics.
No civil unrest. (Except bitching about the Canada Geese droppings.)
No sales tax. (Very popular amongst our neighboring states.)

So now that I think about it, Delaware is a pretty good place to live. Yet I still plan for my wife and I to spend our golden years elsewhere. Once my wife retires, (I am still permanently disabled, therefore retired in effect.) I would like to move to the most illiterate part of Appalachia that I can find and open a book store. No one would bother me and I could sit and do crossword puzzles all day.